Will it be good for the children? Rabbi Shais Taub explains:
"On the other hand, there are marriages that continue in a marital union, but they are failures. They’re not successful unions. There’s no divorce, but I wouldn’t call it success. I think you have to define what a successful marriage is before you can say what’s a failure of a marriage. And then ask the question, what quality is most indicative of a failed marriage. And the answer is – and a lot of people aren’t going to like this--marriage is not for your personal fulfilment. It's not because you want a relationship. It's not because you want to play house. Marriage is not for you. Marriage is, because this is one of the primary ways that we serve our Maker. We were put in this world to serve our Maker, to perform a mission, to make this world a better place. One of the primary ways in which we make the world a better place is by creating a family and a home. A successful marriage is one where there is a family where there are secure children who are being raised with morals and with a sense of purpose and who will be able to go on and create another family in the next generation also with children who have a sense of morals and purpose. That’s a success. What component therefore is the most indicative of marriages that fail in that is that they just don’t even understand the purpose of marriage to begin with. They didn’t know that their home is serving a purpose larger than any of us. They thought marriage was about personal fulfilment. And then they end up ironically experiencing personal frustration, disappointment, So this is what we have to understand. Marriage is not here for me. Marriage is a tool which I use to be useful to the world."
Rabbi Shais Taub, YouTube, shorts, nKEyr5UxoZM
So forget about whether you always wanted to live in Israel. Forget about vague 20,000 feet in the air lines of pabulum such as "this is where a Jew should be." Forget about all the futile pretenses of a halachic discussion that reference the Ramban who himself didn't move to EY until the last 2 years of his life. The posek HaDor Rav Moshe Feinstein that there is no chiyuv to live in Israel. End of story. Forget about paranoid fantasies about America collapsing into Nazism and equally fantastical notions about EY being any safer. Because of all of that is grandiose. You little person cannot predict the future. You little person cannot interpret the halacha better than the posek HaDor.
Rather, ask yourself, in practical terms if this will be better for your children. Practical means, how will they fare in school? Will they make friends? Can they deal with a tiny new apartment with no play space? Will they miss friends? Do they even want to come to ssoi. How are they with language acquisition? Are they refined, aidel people? If so, it probably won't work for them. No grandiosity now oh grandiose person. Be practical!
I am here to tell you that it will not be in almost every case. The transition is brutal. Learning the language is brutal. Dealing with Israelis while they have Anglo parents is brutal. The endless wars, the screaming teachers, the draft, the lack of life choices for boys - it's all a heavy load on your children. You cannot move here if it will be difficult for your children. Oh yes, there are people who say, "The future for your children is in Israel." I was told that. It's a pile of nonsense. It's just a line, a sales pitch, with no proof, explanation, facts, or anything concrete. It's a fantasy that sounds good.
Be very careful. The purpose of your marriage is a good life for your children. Make the big choices with that in mind.
Comments
Post a Comment