Not Kedai for most people--Moving to the secular state of israel (SSOI)

I went today for an ultrasound on my legs. The appointment was for 8:15 AM and since I don't have a car, even though in America I had two, I left the house at 7:15 AM. This means 1/2 mile walk in the boiling heat and waiting 15 minutes for the bus in the boiling heat. Covered in sweat is not the ideal way to arrive for a medical appointment. The bus ride is 20 minutes to the most Haredi part of the city. So I arrived at 8 AM and the woman at the desk, who spoke a bit of English, tells me to wait outside room 5 where the technician will call me. She was all business.  I'm the first one there. Then an older Charedi man arrives. The door opens at 8:10 and, without glancing at me, the man rushes into the room. The door closes. To judge him for the best, I theorized that maybe his appointment preceded mine and that he had already communicated with the technician. It's possible, although in America and the UK and many other places it is customary to say, I hope you don't mind...

Five week wait for an ultrasound. The day arrived and minutes before the appointment we get a call that they have to cancel because the batteries for the ultra sound equipment ran out of power. That's Israeli medical care for you. 

I wrote many posts ago about my disappointing experience attending a performance of Beethoven's 9th in a city outside of Jerusalem. The orchestra was 1/2 sized, maybe a 1/3 of a regular orchestra, and the conductor conducted himself like some kind of clown on Israeli television, stomping out in big boots to accentuate his entrance, dressed like Mork from Ork or Devo, and making absurd faces and gestures to the audience, particularly before the big chorus where he grinned at us as if to say, here it comes. It was undignified, and worse than that, drew the attention to the conductor. I came to hear Beethoven. I had been hopeful that finally an orchestra came to town, after ten years of my being here but plan not to attend if ever by chance an orchestra comes to town again. Devo: Mork: A normal conductor: So next on the plan in pursuit of the fine arts was to hit a museum. The Israel museum has reduced hours, around 22 a week. I went on a Sunday and found that it was closed. It was a ...

You think you know Hebrew because you review the parsha each week. What are you going to do when a business document comes your way? Can you read this?  How about this? It's an insurance accessors report. Is your Hebrew good enough to figure that out? You have one minute to read it as the accessor sits in your living room.  Does that stress you out? You get a document from the insurance carrier, tax authority, city, or military and you have no idea what it says.  How about instructions on a new appliance that isn't going to last long anyway. Don't expect your neighbors to translate this for you. Firstly, they might not know English. Secondly, they won't have time for you. I have been down this road.  And don't expect to learn all these business terms in Ulpan. There, you'll read Zionist poetry or maybe politics. They don't teach business words.  Oh you'll teach yourself? No you won't. You'll sit with a dictionary and spend two hours trying to dec...

 

Since I speak generally here about how awful it can be to live in Israel, I thought I'd tell a nice tale. I tell them when I have them, which isn't often. Most clerks at the market are typical Israelis, not helpful, take their time, throw the receipt at you. But recently a nice Haredi woman took a job at the local market. She doesn't have a smart phone.  Doesn't make you wait. Doesn't greet you a glare or dead face. She carries herself humbly. So today, she bagged groceries which generally is not done in Israel. You must do that. And if there are no bags, you must go find one because the clerk won't help you. One time I asked for a bag, the non-Haredi clerk shrugged her shoulders. I saw that the next three aisles didn't have bags and people were waiting behind me. I asked her again, and with an annoyed expression she reached down to a box of bags under her seat that were there the whole time. Anyway, this proper Haredi lady bagged my groceries. And then nice...

Signs like this appear in the hallways in Haredi neighborhoods in Israel all the time.  Translation: Dear Neighbors On the occasion of our family celebration We seek apartments for couples to sleep For the last Shabbos of summer break Parshas Re'eh We will be happy for your assistance. Thank you With good news and happiness Good Shabbos Family ______ Here's another: and another: What's going on here is that the living spaces are so small in Israel that there's no space to house guests. This is not only a problem for hachnasas orchim but even for having adult children or parents visit for Shabbos. And if you are having a simcha, like a bar mitzvah, forget about it. Then you really are in trouble. The aliyniks have a standard manipulative tool which is to claim that anybody who doesn't move to Israel resists only because he can't give up his materialism. It's obviously a ridiculous charge. Frum Jews all over Brooklyn, Lakewood, Monsey, and Monroe struggle to p...

Get a hold of this piece of deception by  Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir on the OU website: "Nowadays, the aesthetic beauty of Israeli cities compares favorably with those of cities abroad, every major Israeli city is mostly Jewish, and Israel has one of the highest life expectancies of any country in the world. Outer and inner considerations concur that this is the perfect place for any Jew to live." I almost fainted when I read that pile of propaganda. Here I'll give you one of the better streets in Israel: Rothschild Blvd. Tel Aviv: Compare to a boulevard in Paris: Another boulevard in Paris: There are hundreds of lovely streets like this: Tel Aviv is more like this: More typical Tel Aviv: Paris: Haifa: Prague: Zurich: Much of Tel Aviv looks like this: Compare to London:  Petach Tikva: Manhattan: The Central bus station in Tel Aviv: Victoria Bus Station, London: Central bus station in Lublin, Poland: Savidor Center railway station  Tel Aviv: Paris Gare du Nord Train Station: Un...