Men cannot be careless

 I'm at Newark airport now. The friendliness had diminished, mostly. The guys coming onto the plane to clean it don't say hello. The other passengers at the airport don't look at you, except maybe the ones from out of town. But some of the staff is helpful. Some are bossy, like the Asian lady at the TSA who barked, "Show me your checkin." That same lady in Korea would have said, "Please sir, may I ask to see your checkin ticket?" In Ohio she'd say, "Sir may I see your checkin ticket." But it's all way better than Israel where the security people stare you down like they want to kill you and then stab you with sarcastic remarks.

But there's excitement in the air. It's a bigger airport with flights all over the world. You are near Manhattan  with all the celebrities and corporate headquarters, Broadway, Wall St, the Met. All that stuff. It's a tradeoff. I prefer friendly, and my life choices should reflect that, not just mandates from ignoramuses who decide that you must live near the big yeshivas or in EY. Torah is supposed to be flexible for the person, to understand the differences between us and human need. Find me a rabbi who grasps that anymore.

Whether friendly Cleveland or exciting New York, it all beats Israel which has neither. 

So why did I move there. I was a fool. On the plane I watched the movie the Godfather, one of the few worth watching from among the options. Just as I was lamenting the move to Israel, the scene where Vito and Michael go over battle plans. Vito says sorry for going over this repeatedly. I try to be careful, he says. .He says, "Women and children can be careless. Not men."

So I'm supposed to be a man. I'm old enough. I have whiskers, but I was careless. I didn't research enough. Sure I blame all the rabbis I was told to trust, but still I have to take responsibility. I didn't have to listen to them, as relentless as they are.